


The Look In His Eyes

by aexis1465



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Isabella Yang (mentioned) - Freeform, M/M, WW2 AU, War AU, a dash of victuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 13:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10335395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aexis1465/pseuds/aexis1465
Summary: Though Yuri isn’t woken by JJ’s Uncle, he does wake up to JJ’s arms wrapped around his waist. He is tense for a few moments before relaxing into the embrace. Every part of his mind is telling him he shouldn’t be this close to his enemy, but there is the smallest part of his mind questioning. Why is JJ the enemy? Because some other power above him in ranks told him he was? Now that the man’s arms were wrapped around him comfortable like they belonged there, Yuri doesn’t know why he believed he was the enemy.Yuri rolled over to see JJ’s face. He looked so peaceful, as if there wasn’t a war going on around them. The reality that soldiers have died by his hand is unimaginable to Yuri.If time were to freeze in that moment, Yuri would let it without question.





	

**Author's Note:**

> As a side note, it was brought to my attention that I had some facts wrong, so I went back and fixed them at the point of me writing this note. But, just in case I missed something, Yuri is from Russia, but moved to Japan when he joined the war. And was then moved to Germany for a bit before he ended up in Britain which is where the story takes place. 
> 
> I hope that makes sense, but if you have any questions when you're done reading, feel free to ask! <33

The last thing on 16 year-old Jean-Jacques Leroy’s mind was to go fight in the second world war. All he wanted was for his friends to stop calling him Jean and start calling him JJ. What he received instead was his father enlisting him into the army, and thanks to his Uncle he moved through ranks quickly. Both his Uncle and his father hang family honor above his head, but JJ doesn’t want honor. He wants to finish high school and move on to college and receive a degree in literature. 

Now, at 21 years-old, JJ is a Major General with his own group of soldiers to lead. He doesn’t know much about the military ranks, but he is sure that his title and job don’t match up. Leading a group of lieutenants can’t be what other Major Generals are doing, but JJ isn’t going to complain. Having a group of inexperienced soldiers means he can send them to training exercises while he reads the stack of books he brought from home. 

The stack sat next to his bed in his own room that he receives from having a high rank. It’s nice having his own room to unwind in. The barracks were cramped and left no privacy. He shared a bed with another soldier for two years before being promoted. It’s safe to say he is glad to be out of the barracks. 

“Excuse me, sir?” The knocking at his door disturbed his peace. He set his book face down on the bed to keep his page open. Whatever the soldier needed, he was hoping to send it on to the next person and not deal with it. 

He opens the door to see three of the lieutenants he is in charge of. They look scared to be at his door after lights out. Two of them are holding a boy JJ has never seen before, and the third seems to have lost his words. 

“What is it?” 

“We- uh- we found this- um- he’s a sp-spy, sir,” He stutters nervously. 

“How do you know he is a spy? He is wearing the same uniform as you and doesn’t look to be a spy,” JJ said. 

“We were all talking in the barracks and he slipped into a Russian accent. He has said some weird stuff before, but we heard the accent and needed to tell you right away, sir,” The man holding the so called “spy” on the left spoke up. 

“I’ll take care of it, thank you. Now, go back to bed. Lights out was nearly an hour ago, there is no excuse for everyone to be awake.” 

“Yes, sir!” They all walk off together, leaving the spy in JJ’s care. 

He shuts his bedroom door and sits the spy down on a chair that is meant for the desk. It’s less of a desk and more or a clipboard sticking out from the wall, but it serves its purpose.

He looks the spy up and down, trying to assess who this man could be. He has short blond hair that was caked in mud. His build was tall and skinny, but with the rations they’ve been forced to give out recently, he looks unhealthy. His uniform is that of the allies, there is no sign of him being a spy. 

The only thing that separated him from any soldier JJ has ever seen is his eyes. They are stone cold and show no emotion. JJ believes he can read people well, but he can’t tell what the spy is thinking at all. He can tell how other soldiers are doing, it’s easy to tell when one is reaching the end of their rope. The spy in front of him shows no emotion and it only intrigues JJ more. 

“Mind telling me your name? Age? What you’re doing with my men in the barracks? How long you’ve been spying for? Anything?” 

“My name is Yuratchka, call me Yuri,” He said with a thick Russian accent that seemed as if it would be impossible to hide. “I’m 17.” 

“It that all?”

“Yes.” 

“Alright, well, I’m JJ, but you should already know that if you were disguised as one of my men. Make yourself comfortable, you’ll be here for a while,” JJ said. 

He doesn’t know what attracted him to Yuri. He could easily have Yuri scouted for information or even killed for being an axis spy. JJ wants to know more about Yuri and he is in a position to do so. 

JJ roots through the front pocket of his military bag looking for the food he received earlier that day. He wasn’t hungry at the time so he put it in his bag for when he was, but he didn’t like seeing Yuri as thin as he was. The uniform hung off of him while JJ’s fits well. He never found it fair that he and the other commanding officers received more food in their rations than the soldiers. 

He hands the meal pack over to Yuri and watched as the latter confuses himself. He turns the bag over countless times, thinking there is some trick to the food. JJ placed the water bottle he was previously drinking next to Yuri as well. 

“I hope you don’t mind I’ve already drank some,” He said. That must have been proof enough that the food and water wasn’t contaminating because Yuri opened the package and began eating the meat and crackers inside of it. 

When he finishes his meal, JJ gives Yuri access to his small shower. He leaves him with a towel, shirt, and a pair of shorts JJ had in his bag. He only had two sets: the pair he slept in and the pair that Yuri would soon be wearing. 

“Thank you for the shower,” Yuri said as he walked towards JJ’s bed. He hung the towel on a hook on the bathroom door before returning to his seat in the desk chair. 

“You can have the half of the bed away from the door. My Uncle has a habit of barging in, and I don’t think he would take kindly to you being here, let alone in my bed.”

* * *

Though Yuri isn’t woken by JJ’s Uncle, he does wake up to JJ’s arms wrapped around his waist. He is tense for a few moments before relaxing into the embrace. Every part of his mind is telling him he shouldn’t be this close to his enemy, but there is the smallest part of his mind questioning. Why is JJ the enemy? Because some other power above him in ranks told him he was? Now that the man’s arms were wrapped around him comfortable like they belonged there, Yuri doesn’t know why he believed he was the enemy. 

Yuri rolled over to see JJ’s face. He looked so peaceful, as if there wasn’t a war going on around them. The reality that soldiers have died by his hand is unimaginable to Yuri. 

If time were to freeze in that moment, Yuri would let it without question. 

Unfortunately, time doesn’t freeze. Instead, JJ wakes up and he looks as though he goes through the same thought process Yuri did. His entire body was rigid for a moment before relaxing. He removed his arms from around Yuri and sat up in bed. 

“Sorry about that,” JJ said. 

“It’s okay.” 

JJ got out of bed and dressed into his uniform. He looked different out of the shorts and white shirt he slept in the night before. Yuri watched the effects of war take their toll. JJ looked less like a human soldier and more of a toy soldier. His face seemed to lose the ability to smile as he dressed into the tan uniform. Each badge pinned to his chest seemed to age him another year, making him look older than he actually is. 

“For today you’ll stay in here. I guess I can tell my Uncle I’m holding you for information. Whether or not he will move your living situations I don’t know, but I’m going to try and keep you in here.” 

“So you’re going to protect me?” Yuri asked. 

“If that’s how you want to look at it, then yes, I’m protecting you,” JJ said.

He goes on to explain how he will tell Uncle that h is keeping Yuri in the bathroom connected to his room so he doesn’t get into anything in JJ’s room. Except there isn’t anything super important in JJ’s room, so Yuri would be free to sit in the room all day, but if someone comes he needs to go to the bathroom in case it is someone other than JJ. 

Then JJ excuses himself from the room, leaving Yuri to think over how he got into the position of a prisoner in the first place. 

He’s been a spy since he was fifteen and has never gotten caught. Blending into the Ally army easily, no one ever suspected anything. Even when he snuck off at night to give information away- he was never questioned. His accent slips one time and now he is a prisoner. Can he even consider this situation as a prisoner situation? He has seen prisoners before, none of them have been treated as nicely as Yuri was being treated now. 

All the prisoners he saw float through the labor camps when he was Germany were miserable, none of them were enjoying the enemy’s shower or food ration like he was. Though he doesn’t have the most open view of what happened in the labor camps, he knew how the children and elders were treated. He was only thirteen when he was put in charge of a small group of children. His father explained to him that they were meant to be sent to death, but a higher up thought they had potential to be good workers, so they were kept. 

That’s all the axis army was worried about: keeping the camps running. Yuri wasn’t completely sure what benefits the camps had, but all the officers wanted nothing more than for them to keep running. For every person that died, two more were sent to replace them. He has seen it countless times once he was put in charge of an older group. 

His father was constantly fighting to get Yuri as a combat soldier. He wanted nothing more than for his son to be on the field fighting. He went as far as to move to Japan and then ship Yuri off to Germany once enlisting him. But time after time, he was told Yuri was too young to be in combat, so he was put with other jobs. He spent two and a half years in the camps, then he was sent to Britain as a spy. 

In the long run, Yuri thinks he was better off as a spy. He was more fit to hide in plain sight and collect information than fighting in different battles. He never liked confrontation, especially with weapons. Spying was his forte. If he was going to be placed anywhere, he is glad it was as a spy.

* * *

When JJ returned to his room at the end of the day, he came back with slightly more food rations than the day before. He lied it out on the bed as it were a meal for a king rather than a few extra crackers. 

“I normally give this extra bit to some of the scrawnier lieutenants, but I figured I’d bring it back for us to share,” He explained. 

“That was nice of you.” They split the food between them and started eating.

“So, just out of curiosity, is there a reason you’re a soldier?” JJ asks causing Yuri to look up from his food. 

“If it were up to me, I wouldn’t be. My father just never quit trying,” He said. 

“I understand that. I wanted to study literature, but I was pulled from school two months before I graduated high school.” 

“I wanted to be an artist, but my father said I needed a manlier job that would be useful. Then I put into the military on my thirteenth birthday. I guess I continued with it at times; I have a few tattoos that I gave myself.” 

Yuri pulls up the hem of his shorts to show the small designs on his upper leg. There was a brief period of time where he would supervise the older prisoners give the new prisoners their identification numbers. After a few days, Yuri stole a bottle of ink and a needle. He cleaned the needle and then used the stick and poke technique he saw the prisoners using. It hurt at first, but he got used to it by the end of his second tattoo. 

“Why don’t you resign and continue literature?” Yuri asks. 

“You can’t exactly stop once you’ve started in this army. I think I have another four years until I’m allowed out, but if the war ends before then I get to leave. So that’s an incentive to fight I guess,” JJ laughs lightly. 

“But in all seriousness, on my first mission to liberate one of the camps, I was helping get the prisoners out of the barracks you guys were keeping them in. Just the way they were being treated- it was terrible. I would feel terrible if I just left when I was in a position to help.” 

“That’s- that’s,” Yuri paused while he thought of what he could say. “That’s noble.” 

“Thanks, I guess.” 

Yuri finds himself admiring JJ’s kind spirit. He wishes he was more like him, but instead he would have ran out of situation at the first chance. He gives him the excuse that JJ is older, but it isn’t much of excuse. 

That night, Yuri doesn’t quite mind when JJ moves closer and closer in his sleep.

* * *

Two nights later, Yuri is being tied up and thrown into a truck by JJ. He doesn’t question anything as JJ apologizes over and over again while tying his hands together and putting a blindfold over his eyes. He could hear people moving around him, but as soon as he was thrown into the truck, it became quiet. He knew there were other people in the vehicle with him, he could see their shoes from where the blindfold was just short enough to leave part of his peripheral vision. 

“Heads up, I need to do a count.” He hears JJ talk to the soldiers. It sounds so different from how JJ talks to him. He sounds like a boss instead of a friend.

“When I get back we are leaving, be prepared to sit here for a while.” 

Minutes later he feels the truck dip slightly as JJ climbs into the compartment with the rest of them. Yuri feels the empty space on the bench behind him fill as JJ sits down. 

As soon as they start moving, the soldiers start insulting him. Most of the insults are about where he is from, and he can’t blame then- he comes from an awful place. He can’t be sure if it’s intentional, but as the insults continue, JJ moves his legs so they are touching Yuri’s side. To Yuri it feels like JJ is trying to comfort him, but he can’t be sure without looking at JJ, which he can’t do with the blindfold. 

“Alright, that’s enough,” JJ said after five minutes. 

“What? You don’t think he deserves this? He’s a filthy Nazi.” 

“I said, that’s enough,” He repeats. “And if I have to say it again, there will be consequences. Might I remind you who your commanding officer is.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

Hours later when everyone is sleeping, JJ moves from his position on the bench to sit on the ground with Yuri. He moves slowly and cautiously to not wake any of the soldiers. It’s cramped, they barely fit on the floor together, but neither of them mind how close they are sitting. 

“Can’t sleep?” Yuri whispers. 

“I’m guessing you couldn’t either?” His voice is back to the friendly tone that is lacking when he speaks to the soldiers. JJ gently takes the blindfold off of Yuri. It’s dark and they can barely see each other, but it’s enough for the moment. 

“Mhm,” Yuri hummed in response. There was a beat of silence before JJ spoke up again. 

“I’m sorry for what they were saying earlier, it was uncalled for it. They are meant to be more professional, but a lot of them are still a bit young.” 

“I don’t know why you stopped, I could have taken it. It’s not like any of it wasn’t true.” 

“I don’t like hearing people speak about you like that.” 

“Uh- Thanks, I guess,” He said. “I appreciate it.” 

The vehicle drives over a bump, causing Yuri to lose his balance and fall onto JJ’s chest. 

“I’m sorry. I would move, but I can’t exactly use my arms right now.” 

“You’re good, you can stay there as long as you like,” He laughs softly. 

“What if someone wakes up?” 

“We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.” 

“I don’t think that’s the saying,” Yuri smiles. 

JJ enjoys the white noise of the truck driving while Yuri lies contently on his chest. He wouldn’t admit it to Yuri (or anyone for that matter), but he really couldn’t sleep. It’s only been a few days, but he has become accustomed to sleeping with Yuri beside him. Before he sat down with Yuri, he was restless, but now that Yuri’s weight is against his chest, he feels like he could sleep for years. 

Their friendship has come far from where it began, and they both know it. 

Yuri tells himself it’s because he spent all the time without friends as a spy. 

JJ tells himself it’s because of his friendly nature.

* * *

Yuri wakes up, while it’s still dark, to JJ gently nudging him away. He shifts his weight to allow JJ to stand. 

“We are about to stop and I don’t want everyone to freak out if we were still asleep on the ground,” He whispered. “They will probably try to pull stuff while I’m gone, don’t acknowledge it.” 

JJ finishes tying the blindfold back on when the truck comes to a stop and soldiers start to wake up. The truck dips slightly as JJ gets off to meet with the other officers. 

Yuri could tell the soldiers were waiting for JJ to be a distance away before they said anything. They had just woken up, but their insults from the previous night continued as if they never stopped. It was easy for Yuri to ignore them, after hearing the same insult over and over again, it lost its effect for him. 

What he couldn’t ignore, though, was the boot that came in contact with his nose. He didn’t give them the satisfaction of crying out, but the blood he could feel dripping from his nose was enough. However, one kick didn’t seem to be enough for the soldiers because they all took their turn punching or kicking him. Some blows landed to his chest and stomach, knocking all the air out of him repeatedly, but others went to his face and arms where there would be visible bruises. 

“Would any of you like to explain what’s happening here?” JJ asks with a firm tone when he returns to the vehicle.

“He was talking back to us.” 

“That would mean you were talking to him first, and I remember telling you before we left not to. Now, go get in line with the others for food and then come back here.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Oh,” He said. “And you can all go to the back of the line.” 

They all groaned before hopping off the truck one by one. Just as the last one stepped down, JJ stepped up. He sat back down on the floor with Yuri, took off the blindfold, and presented the food he already had. 

“I don’t get the extra because we are travelling, but it’s better than nothing, yeah?” 

“Thank you.” 

“Anything for you, Yuri.”

* * *

JJ never put the blindfold back on Yuri, instead he used it to stop the bleeding from his nose. Yuri spent most of the day staring at the floor while he thought of the different ways he could disappear. He wasn’t scared- that’d be absurd- but he wasn’t comfortable around the other soldiers. 

It was obvious they weren’t going to lighten up on him since JJ scolded them. Anytime Yuri would look up from the floor, one of them would be glaring at him, some mouthing threats to him when JJ wasn’t looking. Each time he looked up, he would look down almost immediately, and try and push himself farther into the bench. 

Fortunately, night comes quickly and soon it become difficult to see anything that isn’t directly in front of their faces. 

“Go to sleep,” JJ said. “We don’t know what’s waiting for us at the new base, so everyone needs to be rested.” 

Yuri just about counts the seconds before JJ is sitting next to him on the floor again. But he never moves from his spot on the bench. He can feel JJ run his fingers through his short hair slowly. When he was in Japan, he was one of the only soldiers that was permitted to have long hair, but when he was sent to Britain, his father forced him to cut his hair. So the blond hair that used to fall messily to his shoulders is now styled similarly to JJ’s. 

“I didn’t tell the other, but they think there is going to be Axis soldiers waiting to attack. I’m going to stay with you if there is,” He whispered. 

“Be quiet, you’re going to wake someone up.” 

“Alright fine, go to sleep. Tomorrow we will finally have a bed again.” 

Yuri rests his head against JJ’s knee and tries to sleep. He is shocked when he feels JJ kiss the top of his head lightly. His entire upbringing (and what he is meant to be fighting for) tells him he should hate it. As a kid he saw so many people being harassed on the streets for walking a bit to close to someone of the same gender, or being asked to leave from a restaurant for having lunch with a friend. 

The fact the Yuri is labelled a Nazi because of where he is from bothers him more than he is able to express. With each passing day he becomes more aware of how his views aren’t anything like the people he worked beside in Japan or Germany. He wishes he could change the past, but he is stuck trying to fix the future.

* * *

As the truck slows down, moving cautiously towards the new base, the soldiers pull their weapons out from under their seats. Each person pointed their gun up as they inspected each part and made sure they had enough ammunition to last through whatever was waiting for them. 

When the vehicle comes to a full stop, the soldiers look to each other as to who is going to leave first. Everyone stands as tall as they can in the truck and look to each other before the person closest to the door climbs out slowly. 

Half of the people are out of the truck and on the ground when gunshots start ringing out. Going in an orderly fashion is abandoned as they rush out of the vehicle to fight back. JJ stares at Yuri intently up until he is out of the truck. 

Soldiers from both sides run past the opening in the truck. With every Nazi uniform that ran by, Yuri felt his stomach drop. This should be his chance to rejoin them and maybe this time he could become an actual soldier like his father always wanted. 

“Where’s the first aid?” A young soldier climbs onto the truck in a panic. 

“I think it’s under the seat closest to the door,” He said. 

“Thanks.” The man rushed out. 

That was the first person Yuri has come across other than JJ that hasn’t had something to say about his accent and nationality. Maybe it was because he was in a rush or maybe he truly didn’t care. Yuri wishes it’s the latter, but he knows it’s the former. 

When the gunshots and yelling outside the truck stop, Yuri feels himself holding his breath. JJ promised to stay with him through the fight, but he never came back after leaving. Soldiers grab a small bag of belonging as they pass by the truck again, but JJ is not one of them. 

Yuri can’t think of why he is so worried about JJ coming back. Is it because he would face real punishment if JJ wasn’t with him? Does he care about JJ outside of a military aspect? He knows the answer and as much as he doesn’t want to admit it. He can’t think of a clear answer as to why he cares so much about JJ, but he knows he does and he knows he wants JJ to come back to the truck. Yuri needs to know he is okay. 

Waiting for JJ to show up felt like hours. He watched twelve of the the thirteen soldiers (excluding JJ and himself) that were in the truck come and retrieve their things. He didn’t miss the looks on the one soldier’s face as he grabbed two bags instead of one. The thirteenth soldier must be injured or dead from the fight. 

As soon as Yuri sees JJ storming towards the truck, he feels a weight being lifted off of his chest. When he climbs onto the truck, he grabs his bags and unties Yuri without saying a word. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Yuri whispers while rubbing his wrists and standing up. 

Without replying, JJ roughly pulls Yuri through the mass of other soldiers. Yuri assumes it’s because all of soldiers they pass on their way, but is disappointed to see it must be something else when JJ pushes him into a small room and then slams the door behind him. 

“What was that all about?” He asks himself quietly. He shakes his head, he could ask later when JJ is in a better mood. 

He sets the bag JJ tossed on the floor onto the bed and pulls out the shorts and shirt he wore before they left. JJ told him he would have to wear a military uniform for the trip. Putting on the too-long shorts after taking of the uniform felt like a huge step. It didn’t seem like much, and he felt silly thinking about it, but it felt like he was ridding himself of the burden of being a soldier. As much as he knew that to be false, he couldn’t help but feel like he wasn’t a soldier anymore. At least not to the Axis army.

* * *

JJ returned to the small room shortly after leaving Yuri there. He seemed more calm than before, but still tense. He sat down at the desk in the room with a pen, paper, and an envelope. 

Yuri sat silently, watching JJ write a letter. He wondered who it was to, what it was about, or if it would ever be sent. The chances are it wouldn’t be sent until a much later date, but JJ seemed to become more and more relaxed as his pen flew across the paper. 

“I’m sorry about earlier,” JJ apologized as he finished writing the name “Isabella” on the front of the sealed envelope. “A lot was put on my plate at once and I struggled to deal with it.” 

“It’s alright.” 

“At least there is a bed now, sleeping on the floor of a truck was uncomfortable.” 

Yuri climbs under the thin blankets the bed had to offer. He stared at the wall while JJ changed out of his military uniform and into what he normally wears to bed. Once he was in bed, they settle into their natural sleeping position together. And neither could ask for more.

* * *

Two days later when Yuri wakes up without JJ behind him, he jumps at the chance to read the letter sitting on the desk. It feels wrong to invade JJ’s privacy, but the contents of the letter had been haunting him since he saw JJ write it. Maybe it was his spy tendencies, maybe it was curiosity, but either way he had to read the letter. 

Luckily the envelope wasn’t completely sealed, giving Yuri access to the letter without ripping the envelope. If he could finish reading before JJ returned to their room, there would be no proof he ever saw it. 

_Dear Isabella,_

_I believe the war will end soon. After the first rehearsal was deemed an absolute disaster, I didn’t think D-day was going to happen. The lack of coordination between everyone was so awful that I don’t think we could have completed those team building exercises from basic if we had to. But, finally, we had a final rehearsal and they believe it will be executed next month._

_I can’t say I’m looking forward to it, though. It sounds bizarre, I’ve been fighting in this war for nearly four years, but I don’t want it to end. Truthfully, I don’t want to go home to you or my family. I want to stay where I am._

_And I wrote this letter to tell you why because if anyone deserves to know, it is you._

_Recently, my unit discovered a Russian working as a spy for the Nazis hiding among the group. Since he was found he has been staying with me (I think it’s been about a week). Writing that makes my next statement seem impractical, but I swear I mean it._

_I think I love him._

_And that’s why I’m writing this letter, that I don’t even know if it will be sent. You deserve to know so you can find someone new to marry. Tell my parents it didn’t work out because of the war or some aspiration of yours, but please refrain from telling them of my new love. I don’t think they’d appreciate being heard their oldest son is in love with a former Nazi soldier._

_I’m sorry I was forced to tell you this way, but I figured that one day, down the road, you will appreciate the honesty. I’m glad I can call you my friend, and hopefully I can after this I can still call you a friend._

_Sincerely,  
JJ Leroy_

Yuri stared at the page in disbelief. A million different thoughts raced through his head. Who is Isabella? When was JJ going to tell him? Did JJ even mean it? Why does he love him? Does he love JJ? 

To Yuri, love seems like a fitting term to how he feels towards JJ. 

“Yuri.” JJ walks into the room and speaks cautiously as if Yuri would attack him for saying the wrong thing. “I-I can explain.” 

“There’s no need, it’s okay,” Yuri smiled at JJ in hopes of easing his nerves. 

“This doesn’t bother you?” 

“No, JJ, this changes nothing.” 

“Thank you,” He said. 

Their night continues as normal, but Yuri can’t stop thinking about the letter.

* * *

As far as love confession go, Yuri never imagined his first to be in a war setting. He never thought he’d find love, more so when his father enlisted him into the military. But as he saw JJ crying in his sleep and the urge to comfort him grew larger with each passing second. He wrapped his arms around JJ and ran his hand through his hair in attempt to calm him down. 

Slowly, JJ wakes up and looks up at Yuri who takes it upon himself to wipe his tears away and kiss his forehead. 

“I- Wha-” 

“You had a nightmare,” Yuri whispered even though it was just them in the room. 

“I’m sorry, you can go back to bed.” 

“No, no,” He said. “It made me realize something important.” 

“Which is?” 

Yuri takes a deep breath, “I love you.” 

Yuri panicked as JJ started tearing up again. He rubbed his palm into his eyes and smiled widely at Yuri. 

“I’m really glad to hear that,” He laughed. “I love you too.” 

Yuri sits up in bed and JJ stands to get dressed. 

JJ pauses at the door when he is about to leave. He walks back towards the bed and sits in front of Yuri. 

“Can I kiss you?” Yuri laughs at the question, not expecting to hear it from someone as confident as JJ, but nods his head and leans towards JJ. The kiss was gentle. It was obvious how inexperienced Yuri was, but both enjoyed it regardless. 

Once JJ is out of the room, Yuri seats himself at the desk. He pulls the pen and leftover paper from JJ’s letter out to write his own. Though he knows there is no chance of it being sent, he puts an address on the back of the paper. 

_Viktor,_

_You probably know this now from a lack of communication on my part, but I was found out by the soldiers here. But don’t worry (I know who you are and that you were, in fact, worried) because I was put in the hands of someone who takes care of me._

_His name is JJ. I think you would approve of him. He cuts his rations in half so I can eat, he gave me clothes to wear when they took my uniform, and he cares about me. Loves me, actually._

_And I love him too. Just this morning, I told him so. He cried he was so happy. I can’t think of the last time I saw someone cry for any reason other than pain and fear. I guess that’s what war is, though._

_I think you would like it with the Allies. They aren’t completely accepting, but it’s definitely better than where we’re from. You and Yuuri would be safer here, you could be happier here. And because I know this won’t ever be sent, I don’t have a problem saying that you two wouldn’t have to hide here. Your relationship is sweet, you’re both too nice for your own good. It’s a shame you can’t be together._

_Yuratchka_

He folds the paper up and set is next to the envelope with Isabella’s letter.

* * *

That night, when JJ comes back to the room, it’s later than normal. Yuri was about to go to sleep when the door finally opened and JJ walked in. 

“I want a tattoo,” He announced. 

“Right now?” 

“Yes,” He said. “I have a needle, a lighter, and a red pen.” 

“That could give you ink poisoning, you know that, right?” 

“I don’t care.” 

Yuri gets out of bed and pulls the desk chair towards the edge of the bed. He has JJ sit on the bed and he sits in the chair. He goes through the steps of sanitizing the needle with the lighter. 

“What do you want and where? I can only do small designs,” Yuri said. 

“I want a heart on my hand.” He points to a spot on the back of his hand towards the edge. “And I want you to make it meaningful.” 

Yuri broke the pen and poured the ink into the cap of and empty water bottle before he started the tattoo. The red ink is barely visible on JJ’s skin, it’d be impossible to see the tattoo if it wasn’t pointed out. He wonders if that’s the point of the red ink.

“What do you think happens after we die?” JJ asks. 

“That was random,” Yuri said. “But I think we’d be reincarnated. I don’t think it’d be immediate, though. Like you get to wait around in some sort of void until you decide you want to be reincarnated.” 

“When would you want to be reincarnated after this life?” 

“I have no idea. I think I would go back to Japan, hope to see my friends again.” 

“I like to think if that is what happens, that I’d find you in that lifetime too,” JJ said. 

“Me too.” 

When JJ’s tattoo is done, he goes to shower. Yuri spends that time recreating a similar tattoo on his hand. It’s a small asymmetrical heart with a small capital “J” on the right side of it. JJ’s has a “Y” on his and claims it was the perfect addition.

* * *

One thing Yuri has learned since joining the military is that peace never lasts long. 

The week following their tattoos was peaceful. They spent all of JJ’s free time lying in bed together just talking about anything that came to mind. And though it wasn’t the most exciting thing they could be doing, it was enough for them. And the serenity of it all put Yuri on edge. 

Unfortunately, his lesson continues to be true.

On the eighth day of their relationship, Yuri and JJ were woken by JJ’s uncle storming into the room. He entered the room with an assignment he needed completed, but upon seeing his nephew cuddled in bed with the enemy, his rage forgot the assignment. 

He grabbed Yuri. With one hand on his neck and the other in his hair, he pulled Yuri out of the room, and more importantly, away from JJ. 

“No! Please!” JJ cried as he ran after his uncle. “Let him go! Don’t hurt him!” 

“He will be put to death tomorrow.” 

“No, please! I’ll do anything!” 

“Stop Jean, I’ve already decided.” 

JJ couldn’t sleep that night without Yuri beside him. The bed felt too big without Yuri there to help fill the empty space. 

Morning was no better. He sat front row with the other commanding officers as his uncle slipped a noose around Yuri’s neck. 

He never broke eye contact with Yuri. Both of their faces remained stoic, but their eyes held more emotion than they could express. Two pairs of eyes filled with tears as JJ mouthed “I’m sorry” and “I love you” as many times as he could before his uncle kicked the stool out from under Yuri. 

JJ felt a piece of him die as the life escaped Yuri’s eyes.

* * *

“You have the eyes of a soldier,” Otabek said while they stood on the bridge. Yuri couldn’t describe the feeling that coursed through him at the words. Something was wrong, but there was nothing he could do to change it. 

“I don’t want the eyes of a soldier.”

**Author's Note:**

> After about two months of working on this, I finally finished! Thanks to everyone for reading, I'm really proud of how this turned out, so I hope you like it! <33
> 
> My tumblr is [@aexis1465](http://aexis1465.tumblr.com/), feel free to send prompts or just hmu if you want to chat <33


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